Top Surgery

Met with a local surgeon yesterday. I’m guessing the paint colors of the waiting room and offices were from Behr, maybe “Snowfall White” on the walls and “Pure White” on the woodwork because the trim is a bit cooler in tone, and kind of a gray in comparison to the wall. The furniture was slick - whites, grays, blacks, and accents of green from some tall, decorative plants. There were throw pillows. Clientele passing through mostly had black tights, cropped jackets, and blond streaks. The women behind the counter were warm and accommodating. I was given a coffee while I waited.

My body was in pacing mode all morning and I had lots of questions prepared for asking. There were so many ways this visit could have gone. Leaving the office, my body was lighter and I couldn’t peel the smile off of my face. I’m at a place now where all I have to do is set a date and raise the funds. I plan to ask for help from friends and the social media world with this part. More on that soon..

Next week, I have an appointment at Planned Parenthood to talk about my options for HRT (hormone replacement therapy). I’m finally ready for these things to be before me and to make decisions for myself. It’s no small thing. For a long time, it was scary to imagine a future where I allow my body to take shape in a way that feels comfortable and aligned to me because people like myself are so grossly misunderstood. Trans visibility tends to bring out ugliness in others. Our access to our well-being is a card tossed around on political floors. Anyone who needs convincing that a whole demographic of people deserves security with basic living needs very clearly believes there is a scale for human worth. Those people are not safe to come out to. 

Super excited to have new eyes for my life and to have people in it who celebrate with me as I make moves toward not just surviving, but living.