Binding

Here’s a picture of me about a year ago feeling pretty good about my reflection.

In the photo, I’m wearing a binder and tank from Flavnt Streetwear. Trying on the binder for the first time a few months earlier was an emotional experience. My whole life, I’d cover up my chest with my arms when checking my outfit in the mirror. It was so automatic that, most of the time, I didn’t realize I was doing it. What a feeling to skip that instinct. Tears of joy were shed.

When trying out binders, it’s important to know what your body’s limitations are. I had read that it’s not recommended to wear binders for more than 8 hours at a time because it risks muscle damage. My first try on wearing a binder for an extended time (6-8 hours) was with Flavnt’s bearskin binder. It’s really difficult to be *comfortable* in binders if one has a large chest, however, I found that I wasn’t distracted by it throughout the day. Definitely important for me! I later tried a binder from Tomboy to experiment with how other designs worked with my body. A day after the first extended wear (about 6 hours), I felt pain in my back in a place I hadn’t felt before, so I took a break with it. I tried again one day and experienced the same pain, so I’ve put that one in the back of my drawer for now. I’ve read some reviews from people who experienced longterm muscle issues after wearing certain brands of binders - GC2B being a common one. All bodies have different needs and what works for me will not suit everyone. Listen to your body and take care, it matters. 

Before I called this body a grave

Before I was taught to look past myself

The mirror showed me a boy

Flexing little arms to see the strong shadows

My shame was a broken seed, growing