Liam

I hope I look back on this time someday and see how it linked me to better things. I mean, I can already see that my friendships have deepened, and new people have come into my life who validate my experience and show me the gentleness I’ve been needing. But it’s been incredibly painful to let my family drift from me. They’d say it’s my fault, or the “fad” of transness is to blame. They miss “her.” The old version of me was self medicating with alcohol most evenings and deeply disconnected from knowing what’s best for me. I relied on other people to tell me which way to go. I couldn’t trust my gut because I was trained not to. This benefitted the people who needed me to be small and compliant. I’m still crawling out of a hole at this point in my life. Being financially strained for three years directly after being left by my spouse who apparently bragged about the power she had over my business - having given me pep talks for years about how bad I am with money and giving the cold shou...